Out of the Deep

This past Sunday I had the privilege of singing a piece of John Rutter's "Requiem" with my church choir. The scripture that morning was the story of Lazarus' death and Jesus bringing him back to life. The part of the Requiem that we sang was John Rutter's interpretation of Psalm 130, "Out of the Deep."

This song is filled musically with all the longing that Psalm 130 verbalizes. It starts with a cello intro in a soulful melody and continues that theme throughout the piece. As the psalmist places his trust in the Lord, the music is lifted and hopeful. We were blessed to have one of the best young cellists in our area play for us and that brought the choir's "game" up another level.

The words to the song begin, "Out of the deep have I called unto you O Lord. Lord, hear my voice." How many times have I said that? And this got me thinking about how much my journey of faith has changed.

It used to be that I would only call to God for help when I was in distress. Having no where else to turn, from the depths of my despair I would cry out for help wanting instant relief from my misery. I wanted to get lifted out of the deep and have this crisis over.

One of the hardest things to do is to be thankful in times of trouble. When I am struggling with something or feeling hurt or deceived, the thanks I offer up to God leaves a bitter taste on my tongue. I literally struggle to physically speak the words. It is one of the hardest lesson I have learned over the years.

But why is it that we tend to think about God more when we are in distress than when we are joyful?

As people of faith, we are not just to look to God in times of distress but in times of happiness as well. As a parent, I love seeing my child happy and love hearing him thank me for the good times of his life. Why wouldn't God feel the same way? After all, we are the children of God.

I've said it before and I will probably say it again: in all things we need to be thankful. Good times and bad, joy and despair, hope and distress. In that way we keep God in the center of our lives, which makes even the really bad times seem not so bad.

Here's the Cambridge Singers, conducted by John Rutter himself, performing "Requiem II: Out of the Deep" by John Rutter:

Getting It All Done

Image courtesy of lifebiz.biz

The one thing I have learned throughout all my years of being single is that you can't get it all done. As someone who works full time, Monday through Friday, my weekends are filled with endless to-do lists. I find that I am always making a choice between being a responsible adult and doing my chores, or blowing them all off to do something fun. Sometimes it is really hard to find the balance.

This past weekend I had the following on my to-do list:

• Finish puzzle - because I need the table it's on for my seedlings
• Clean the basement - just breaking down some random boxes and putting a few things away, not too bad
• Laundry
• Vacuuming
• Sweep kitchen floor
• Pick up dog land mines in back yard
• Go to pet store for dog food (so they can make more land mines)
• Look for dog frisbee that is in a box "somewhere" in the house ... or not.
• Replant my seedlings - This requires a trip to the garden center for some more potting soil and some 3" pots, and to the dollar store for some more cups to use as small pots
• Church (Singing for both services which takes an entire morning, so it goes on the list)
• Check out new hobby store that opened by my house
• Walk the dogs, twice
• Get a workout in
• Stop at liquor store so I can get the fixin's for this drink I want to try with these great strawberries that came my way (Where do I find triple sec? Oh, it's by the liquoooooors.)
• Prepare various meals, try new energy bar recipe, and make something with the left over buttermilk from last weekend

Not an exhaustive list, but quite a bit to do none-the-less. Plus there's loads of things that didn't even make the list:

• Rake the yard
• Pick up yard debris
• Get to hardware store for some Stabil for my gasoline can and snowblower
• Wash my truck - inside and out
• Fix flower beds that dogs have dug up
• Take "Bob" out for a spin
• Get to Sam's Club to replace TV that died
• Hem jeans with new sewing machine that I haven't even taken out of the box yet

It is physically impossible for me to get all of this done by myself. Plus, have you ever noticed that when you are away from work times moves at a much faster pace than normal? Something that should take half an hour suddenly takes one-and-a-half hours. A 20 minute shower turns into an hour spent in the bathroom because you decide you have to rearrange one of the drawers in the cabinet. Putting your laundry away from last week turns into an hour long project because you decide you need to rearrange all the shoes in your closet.

I can always tell when I've had a busy weekend because I get to work on Monday and my feet still hurt. Since I have a desk job my poor feet aren't used to standing all day long. By Sunday night I find that if I sit still for longer than 15 minutes rigor-mortis sets in. It always feels good to get to work on Monday and be able to sit down again and rest.

Then there's the inevitable task that will present itself that needs immediate attention. For example, I got home from church to find that Ellie had ripped open a teddy bear that you can put in the microwave oven and use as a hot pack. It had all these little pieces of cracked corn in it which were now spread all over the floor of one of the bedrooms (I wish I would have taken a picture--but I was too flabbergasted to run downstairs and grab my camera). I wasn't planning on having to pick up millions of little bits off the floor and it took me an hour to clean up because I had to get the vacuum cleaner out and, well, as long as I had the vacuum cleaner out and have to move the bed I might as well vacuum all around the edges of the carpet and then, well, I might as well vacuum the rest of the house while I'm at it!

Image courtesy of peanuts.wikia.com

Sometimes I can't get it all done. Sometimes no matter what you do the odds are against you. Sometimes, in the end, you just have to admit defeat and go shopping.

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar

About a year ago I was having a conversation with my masseuse when we got on the topics of weight loss, working out, and sleeping.  I was frustrated because the sleeping pills that I had been taking for years were suddenly not working and I was exhausted.  I have always had a hard time sleeping.  In addition, I was working out like a fiend and not seeing any weight loss for my efforts.  I had been stuck at this same weight for so long and no matter what I tried, I could not get the scale to budge.

She gave me the name of a doctor she had been seeing who was helping her with hormone therapy. More specifically, bio-identical hormone therapy. Bio-identical hormones are tailored to a person’s specific needs. Instead of a wide-spectrum hormone that gives you an average range of hormones, these are made just for me. They are also natural hormones, not synthetic. I made an appointment with this doctor and went in for a consultation.  

The first thing the nurse had me do was take an inventory of my symptoms. I was handed a sheet with three columns on it, full of symptoms. I checked almost every one. Then after the nurse took down my blood pressure and my weight and height, I was able to sit down with the doctor. She talked to me about what symptoms I was having and ordered some blood to be drawn. After she got the results we would meet again and go over what her prescribed course of action would be.

When we next met the results of my tests were reviewed. Basically, my serotonin levels we really low, cholesterol high, and my body didn’t know whether it was a man or a woman. She was not at all surprised that I was checking almost all the boxes on the symptom sheet. The doctor prescribed two hormones along with 5-HTP for my serotonin levels and a few supplements for my cholesterol.  

At my next visit six weeks later my numbers had made good progress in correcting both my levels of hormones and serotonin. I had already weaned myself off of my sleep medication and was getting much better sleep. I wasn’t completely where I wanted to be so my doctor made one correction. I followed up with her three months later.

At this next visit, my doctor congratulated me and told me I was once again a woman! My hormone levels had corrected themselves and I was no longer androgynous. I still wasn’t sleeping through the night, however, so she just increased the dose of one of the hormones.

Now, three months later, I can say that I am sleeping like a baby, feel like a million bucks, have greater muscle tone (are those abs under there?!?), and have actually lost a few pounds. Everyone I see asks me if I’ve lost weight. I haven’t really lost that much but my clothes are fitting much looser.  

The biggest difference since starting these treatments:  I’m happy. My girlfriend and I used to call that the “H” word; like it was something we could never attain. I never, EVER, could have made it through the last year without being on hormones. I would have been a mess and probably would have killed someone by now! Plus all my “systems” are working better, you know what I mean? My digestive tract is functioning again, my brain works better, I have lots of energy, my skin is not as dry, and my singing voice is better than it’s ever been.  

Now, I’m not a doctor so I can’t tell you what’s right for you. But if you’re frustrated with your doctors because you tell them about all these symptoms and they say to you, “Well, you know, you are getting older,” tell them to stick-it-where-the-sun-don’t-shine and go see someone who can evaluate your hormones. Men too. They are discovering quite a lot about men’s hormone problems too.  

Think about it. People only used to live until they were 40. They didn’t have to deal with getting older and fading hormone levels, or even menopause because people just didn’t live long enough to go through it! There’s no reason why you should have to suffer, as I was, any longer.

Sing with me ladies:  “I am woooooooooo-man!  Double-you oooooohhhhhh M-A-N!

You Are Not My Enemy

Remember that old book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”?  I can remember reading that book when I was much younger and it made complete sense.  At the time, I was trying to figure out men.  But what I have learned over the years is that there is beauty in having someone understand what it’s like to be a woman.

Throughout my years I have learned the value of having girlfriends.  There’s nothing like having a conversation with someone who understands where you’re coming from and accepts you no matter what.  For years, I used to think that women were the enemy.  I thought they were competition and couldn’t be befriended.  I have learned over the years that we all share a common goal:  to try to survive on this earth alongside men.

It’s not that men are really all so terrible, it’s just that they don’t understand us. Wouldn’t life just be so much easier, girls, if men could understand what it’s like to live inside these female bodies? If they could understand what it's like to make decisions based on emotions instead of pure logic? If they knew what it felt like to have hormones control our lives every 28 days?

Recently, I made contact with a girlfriend that I had not seen in a while.  It was SO good to see her and I had missed her so much!  We started chatting and it was like the long absence never happened. I have that same phenomenon with a girlfriend from high school.  We may not see each other for years at a time, but when we are together, it’s like old times and we are comfortable with each other and can talk about anything.

At one point in my life most of my girlfriends were married and had little kids. They were so busy with their lives that they didn’t have enough time for me. I prayed to God for a girlfriend that could share all my current interests and be my confidante and He presented me with my girlfriend, Colleen. Colleen and I swear that we knew each other in a previous life, because after we met it was like we were never apart.

As I got older I also noticed that I had learned how to talk to women and have an instant connection. The other day I was in a shoe store looking longingly at the sandals and pretty new neon sneakers when I said to a woman there, “Do you ever think we will be able to wear normal shoes again?”  She said, “Oh, I know. I’m so sick of wearing these boots.”  You see, a man wouldn’t understand that comment.  I knew what she meant. She knew what I meant. Instantly.

I have begun to cherish all these little, seemingly insignificant moments with strangers that bind us together and help us get through this life.  These moments can happen anywhere:  at the deli department of the grocery store, standing in line at Panera, or in the locker room at the gym. They help me to realize that I am not going through this life alone and, especially, that I am not invisible.

So here’s a toast to all you women out there!  Thanks for helping me get through this life surrounded by all these Martians.

Bob the Jeep

Years ago I bought a used 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo.  It was three years old when I got it and I have never owned a car this long in my life.  I’m usually a pretty fickle car owner and change cars about once every three or four years.  Actually, I’ve owned this car longer than I was married … in both marriages … combined.

Buddy riding in Bob

This Jeep took us on road trips to Florida one year, and then over to Montana another.  It’s been to Disney World, the Kennedy Space Center, Yellowstone Park, and Mount Rushmore.  It’s been over the Appalachian mountains on one side of the country and over the Rockies on the other. I used it to cart my big dog, Buddy, around town which filled the Jeep with dog hair and made it smell like dog feet.

Once I had this Jeep paid off I kept it around even after I purchased another vehicle because I knew my son was approaching driving age and I thought it would be a great vehicle for him.  I loved the fact that it is a four wheel drive vehicle and I knew that it would keep my son safe.

And keep him safe it did.  Even after my son ran into a parked car while reaching for something on the floor of the Jeep, we got it fixed up and it still ran great.  The other car?  It looked like an accordion because it hit a telephone pole in the front while my son plowed into it in the back.  Luckily enough the insurance company thought it was worth fixing up and it was back in service.

My son decided that this Jeep needed a name, so it became affectionately known as “Bob”.

To say that Bob “survived” my son is an understatement.  While backing Bob out of the garage, my son managed to rip off the front headlight and crack the grill.  Then there was the aforementioned accident.  Then after that my son overheated the engine -- twice.  Admittedly the leaking radiator was at fault. The last overheating was almost Bob’s undoing.

Eventually we bought my son a newer, smaller, more fuel efficient car, and Bob limped into retirement.  My ex-husband decided he could fix Bob which began my education in the inner-workings of a gas combustion engine.  I helped pull the engine out (several times), put new rings on the pistons, replaced countless hoses, pumps and pulleys, dropped the oil pan (several times again) and had the dash off.  Eventually, we got Bob back together again and he ran well -- for a Jeep with almost 200,000 miles on it and one teenage boy in his past.

Bob doesn’t do much anymore, but I still love this car.  He gets to go out on weekends for trips to the dog park and gets me safely to church when there is lots of snow.  He’s got a few quirks:  the dash lights aren’t very bright anymore, the back windshield wiper works but it doesn’t touch the glass anymore, and he doesn’t have the smoothest of starts, but he runs great once he’s warmed up.  It’s a great car for when you want to haul plants from the garden center because you don’t have to worry about getting the carpeting in the back muddy. Bob will get you through any big snow storm thanks to these new awesome tires I bought a few years back, but he doesn’t really like the cold, cold weather anymore.

Nowadays, Bob sits in the garage with a trickle charger on his battery, keeping him safe and warm and well-rested.  I still can’t bring myself to get rid of him as he has been a part of my life for so long, but I know eventually he will go to that big junk yard in the sky.   

But not just yet.

See you at the dog park?   Bob, Ellie and I will be there this weekend.

Change of Plans

On a weekend not too long ago I had the luxury of having a whole weekend to myself with nothing scheduled and no place I had to be, except for church on Sunday morning. After quite a few busy weekends it was wonderful to be able to do what I wanted when I wanted to do it. I got up about 7:30 that morning, made myself a good, healthy breakfast and started my day.  

The original plan was to get some cooking done to restock my freezer with items that I use on a consistent basis, but take a while to put together. These are items that are used either to supplement a meal or to take to work for lunch, but would take too long to cook on any particular week night. Specifically, I wanted to make a brown rice pilaf that I love as a side dish, some applesauce from apples that were left over from a fruit basket I received (and a bit too sweet to eat for my tastes), and some beef barley soup made from pot roast that I could not finish a few nights before (which was actually reheated once already).  All in all, this was a pretty reasonable amount of cooking that I could get done quite easily on a Saturday with little else to do.

After checking the weather report and finding out that snow was expected some time around noon, I started my day with a trip to the pet supply store. I had to exchange a sweater that I had purchased for my dog because it didn’t fit.  My dog loves to go to the pet store so I brought her along.  After we made the exchange, it was off to the beauty supply store for some good nail files, because doing a nail polish change was on the agenda for tomorrow.

A bundled up Ellie

Back home, I pulled into the driveway just as the snowflakes were starting to fall. I got my purchases into the house and put away, and decided to take my dog for a walk before the snow got too bad. It was actually pretty warm outside (around 25 degrees F), so Ellie and I went on a nice long walk. I know that sounds pretty easy, but it always takes me about 10 minutes just to get dressed to go outside when it’s cold. Jeans off, long underwear on, snow pants, scarf, coat, two sets of gloves (one really warm pair and one not quite so warm pair as I get warmer as the walk progresses), boots, hat, and then Ellie got to wear her new sweater. Ellie always stands looking at me while I’m getting dress with a look on her face as if to say, “Do you really need to put all that on just to go outside?”  I put my garage door opener in my pocket, grabbed Ellie’s leash, and off we went.

We walked for 45 minutes, got home and did the whole dressing thing in reverse. Once situated I started to get my cooking ingredients in order which meant a trip downstairs to my pantry. On the way downstairs I thought I’d check my upright freezer to see if there was any beef barley soup left, as I was sure there was at least one or two bowls in there (there wasn’t). Scouring through the freezer I started to notice how old some of the items in there were. Some I had brought with me when I moved into this house and had been in my freezer a while when I moved them. So I pulled out a few things that had a pretty good layer of frost on top of them. Then I pulled out a few more, and a few more, and a few more after that. Oh what the heck, I’m just going to do a good freezer cleanse while I’m here!  

After multiple trips up and down the basement stairs I had about 40 containers that I took out of the freezer!  Some had been in there quite a while. I hate to waste food, but this stuff was probably way past edible and I didn’t want to find out the hard way that it was no good. Now comes the fun task of figuring out how I dispose of most of this.

Before

The old sauces I thawed out and they went down the drain. A few other things went through the garbage disposal and down the drain. Most other things went into the trash can and then out to the garage. One of the benefits of being in a cold climate is that in the winter the garbage that’s stored out in the garage does not thaw out. After I emptied out all the containers and got everything thrown away I was faced with a sink full of storage containers that needed washing. This was not in my plans for the day. Note to self: don’t store leftovers in the freezer unless you’re absolutely sure you’re going to use them!

After

I filled the sink with some nice hot soapy water and started washing. I would wash a batch, dry that batch, stack them together, and then start on the next batch. This continued for about an hour. Finally, after everything was clean, I found a spot for all the containers in my cupboard, stepped back and appreciated all my hard work, and decided it was time for some lunch.  

In my defense, yes, I should have done this when I moved out of my husband’s house. But to tell you the truth, on that particular day when we were moving the freezer, I just wanted to get the frak out of there. So I packed everything up into coolers and bags and figured I would deal with it later.  

You see this whole stash that I had in the freezer represented something that I knew had been going on for a while. Before I married my husband I used to love to cook and bake and it was a way for me to show my son, and then subsequently my boyfriend, how much I loved them because I would provide good, healthy, homemade meals that would nourish them body and soul. As my marriage went sour, I started to feel my love of cooking dwindle away. It became a chore, and I was tired and stressed out, and I just didn’t feel inspired any more. When I would cook something I would put the leftovers in the freezer, but my husband didn’t like leftovers, so there they sat, taking up space, a symptom of a greater problem.

Being able to clean out the freezer was very therapeutic to me.  It was, in some small part, closure.  I got rid of those things that reminded me of a time when I wasn’t really myself. Now I can fill the freezer with food that I have cooked for myself that will nourish MY body and soul.  

I did end up getting all my cooking done during the afternoon. By the end of the day I had filled about a dozen of those newly cleaned containers with beef barley soup, brown rice pilaf, and one big container full of cinnamon applesauce. Plus, as an added bonus, I had added over 12,500 steps to my pedometer! All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Valentine's Day Grinch

To me, as a single person, Valentine's Day is the ultimate in-your-face reminder that I don't have anyone special in my life. It reminds me with every TV commercial, billboard, magazine ad, and walk through a department store, that I no longer have a need for romance. Most days that doesn't bother me; but this time of year I turn into the Valentine's Day grinch.

So what does one do to get through this day of romance? I decided to take the romance out of Valentine's Day and think about the people I appreciate in my life.

Remember when you were in grade school and you would make out those hokey Valentines for everyone in your class?  I asked myself, if I had those Valentines today, to whom would I send one?

I did a search on the internet for "valentine messages" and flowershopnetwork.com has some cute ones. When I put them in context and address them to a specific person, they take on a whole new meaning.

To Jesus:  Whatever is worth doing, is worth doing with You!

To my son:  Right from the start, you stole my heart!

To my Bestie:  So many of my smiles begin with you!

For my family:  Even in a fairy tale where every dream comes true, I could never hope to find a family as wonderful as you!

To my pets:  I love you THIS much!

To my co-workers:  Wishing someone close to my heart a warm and wonderful day!

So I suppose I don't have to be the Valentine Grinch for long. My relationships may come up short in the romance department, but they certainly don't fall short in the love department. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such loving friends and family.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Plumbing Gremlins

I was very lucky when I was house hunting that I found a well kept, well maintained home that was in my price range.  Most of the major items had been done:  new furnace, roof, gutters, siding, water heater and driveway.  The only major item that needs to be done is the windows, but for now they work just fine.

When you own a home or a condo you can expect some maintenance issues to arise.  No one can tell you when the garbage disposal is going to get jammed or a light fixture will stop working.  My new house?  It has plumbing gremlins.  These gremlins run around the house and cause havoc with the plumbing systems and water in the house.  

Now I’m familiar with gremlins causing trouble.  There’s been many a Sunday that you can tell they are running around the sanctuary at church causing troubles. Mics that don’t work, missed entrances and forgotten cues on songs that were sung perfectly all throughout rehearsal, or hymnals that go missing and then show up again out of the blue.  These little guys are brilliant at causing mischief. And they have been very busy at my house.

My first issue:  I walked into the room where the furnace is only to find the floor covered with water. Upon further inspection, I found out that the little pump that is put on these high efficiency furnaces to pump the water that drains from the furnace had stopped working.  So my first trip to the hardware store was to purchase some tubing and I ran it from the furnace to the drain in the basement floor. Works like a champ, and I didn't have to ask for help.  

Second issue:  the garage floor doesn’t drain properly.  Although this isn’t technically a plumbing issue, it is a water issue and it’s driving me crazy.  There is always water sitting next to my car in the garage.  When it rains, it comes in under the door and pools just about right where I stand to get in my car.  When it’s cold outside, the snow will melt off the car and there will be a big puddle of water. Who in the heck do you call to fix this problem?  I have no idea.

Third issue:  after I got the furnace issue fixed, imagine my surprise to find more water on the basement floor a few weeks later.  At first I thought it was my upright freezer leaking. I dried up the water and a couple days later more showed up. After further investigation I found out that the water was coming from behind the wall in the unfinished part of the basement. I thought for sure my water softener was leaking. I mopped up the water and waited to see if it happened again. It did, six days later, and then six days after that. So I called the water softener people (it’s a rental) and they came out to look at it. The repairman said the softener was working fine and that it was probably a drain issue.

A few weeks later, on a Sunday of course, it happened again, only this time the water was coming out of the drain that was put on the side of my main plumbing stack. Oh great!! Desperate I called my brother and asked him what I should do. He was great and came right out, but decided that I needed a plumber because there was most likely a clog somewhere. Fortunately I have an ex-brother-in-law that is a plumber and he came out and was able to snake the drain and find the clog right away. Thank goodness it wasn’t something more serious, just a 50-year old plumbing stack that had finally collected enough goop to stop it from flowing. And fortunately, my brother came out another day and fixed the other drain issue.

Fourth issue: In the midst of hosting a family reunion at my house I went to flip the switch for the garbage disposal and it chose that moment to stop working. The motor ran, but the blades weren’t turning. Obviously there was something stuck in it, but upon closer inspection I could not tell what the culprit was. Fortunately, my brother-in-law was visiting and he’s one of those great handymen that can fix just about anything and he was eventually able to get the innards to move and un-stick the grinding mechanism. Good thing he was there because I had just about had it with all these darn plumbing issues.

Needless to say the plumbing gremlins have been very busy.  Hopefully they will eventually calm down and leave my house alone.  Maybe I can send them over to the neighbors?

One Year Ago ...

As a new year starts I usually have this habit of looking back and seeing how my life is different than it was in last year.  Is it better?  Is it worse?  What was I doing one year ago, or two years ago? Where was I mentally, emotionally, physically?  What have I accomplished in the last year?  What were the challenges and obstacles placed in my path and how did I overcome them?  

This past year has been particularly difficult.  My life has taken a huge left turn and, if you would have asked me a year ago, I could have never imagined that life could be this good.  

As I write this I think about all the people out there who feel like they are mired in unhappiness, whether it be a bad marriage or a bad job or anything in between, and believe that they will never be happy again. There is hope out there.  If I could just look you in the eyes and say, “Hang in there!” I would. You’ve all heard the saying, “Everything will be all right in the end, if it’s not all right, then it’s not the end.” Take heart, my friends. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

So I sit down, remembering where I was a year ago, and write down my observations about how much life can change in a year.  Here’s what I came up with:

One year ago I was discovering that more promises were broken and the lies had never stopped.

Today, I still have no answers; but his lies cannot hurt me any more.

One year ago someone who I thought was my friend took my husband’s side.

Today, I can be thankful that my ex-husband has someone to help him through a difficult time in his life.

One year ago I was looking for a way to die to get away from a life that had become this drudgery of disappointment after disappointment, and showed me no way out.

Today, I feel I have so much to live for.  Life is full of miracles.

One year ago I was mourning the loss of my 12-year old dog.  I felt completely lost without him, this canine companion with whom I had shared so much time.

Today, I have a new dog who, while not a replacement, is a wonderful successor.

One year ago I was looking at the prospect of uprooting my entire life and dreading what was to come.

Today, I am settled in my new home and routine, growing new roots, and looking forward to the future.

One year ago I was afraid of where I would live if I were to leave.

Today, I have benefitted from the generosity of family who have opened their home to me and protected me from harm and kept me safe.

One year ago the prospect of moving was looming ahead.

Today, after two moves, I have found a house that I can call a home.  

One year ago I was searching for a way out of a marriage.

Today, I am free of that marriage.

One year ago, I placed my trust in Jesus and surrendered my fate to Him.

Today, I am reaping the rewards of that trust.

An Unbound Woman

This is a blog about my life as a divorced, working woman of faith trying to make it on her own for the first time in 30 years.  It’s not specifically about being single or being divorced, about faith, or even about being a working woman.  

It’s not only for women, but will involve a woman’s point of view.  It’s more about my observations as I attempt to make it through life as a single person in a couples world.  It will involve all things I love to do:  going to church, cooking, baking, singing, crafting, shopping and sometimes just plain nonsense.  

It will also involve my trials and triumphs as I try to get the yard work done, the cleaning, take care of the car, and all those wonderful household duties that are so much easier when shared by two (or more).  It’s about how I get through the days and go home to an empty house.  It’s an attempt to answer the question, “How did I get here, to this spot in my life?” and “What’s next?” It’s also an attempt to share some pearls of wisdom I’ve cultured through a life of 50+ years.

I don’t profess to be a good writer, but hopefully it’s not all bad.  Hopefully you will be able to connect with a few things I’ve learned along the way and maybe we can even learn a few things from each other.  

This blog is not done in real time (at the moment), mostly because I wanted to see if I could actually fill the pages with some interesting posts first.  Eventually I hope it will be.  Most of my experiences from this, my second, failed marriage will be done in retrospect as I just wasn’t in a good place to write all this down while I was actually going through the process.

Join me on my journey through this next, and hopefully best, chapter of my life.

Thanks for reading!

Sharon Lynn