I was feeling like this one morning while I was syncing up my pedometer-like device. You see I have this goal set for the amount of steps I'm supposed to take in a day and with a desk job I really have to try hard to get them all in. I missed my goal the day before by 46 steps. 46! If I had known that before I went to bed I would have walked around the house for a couple of minutes. Needless to say I now synch my device before I go to bed.The competitive side of me is too stubborn to just ignore it. I could just tell myself that it was only 46 steps, but try to tell that to the tracking software.
I can't tell you how many times I have changed clothes to go for a walk and have forgotten to put my band back on only to find out I missed my daily steps goal by the amount of the walk I just completed without the band. It drives me crazy!
Failure. Again.
I keep hearing Yoda's voice going through my head, "Do or do not. There is no try."
It's not just the walking steps goal where I fail, but little things throughout the day, too. It's the daily struggle to eat right. It's the promise to myself to be a better pray-er or more thankful or more patient. It's trying to get all the housework done, only to be sidelined by an unexpected task or diversion.
The other night as I was saying my prayers I fell asleep in the middle of the Lord's Prayer. I woke up the next morning and immediately thought, "I can't even do this right!" Talk about failure! Do you think God would understand? I'm guessing He would.
I was walking the dogs one evening and going through an inventory in my mind of all the things I had failed to do or finish or manage that day. It was disheartening.
So I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being unreasonable or too hard on myself or looking at this from a glass-is-half-empty attitude. Another voice, this one from Dr. Phil, is saying to me, "So how's this working for you?"
Obviously, instead of focusing on what I didn't achieve I need to see what I did.
Life is hard. Add in all the expectations we place on ourselves and it gets even harder. I think that I just need to give myself a break and do the best that I can on a daily basis. Some days I may fall short of my goals, but some days I will surpass them. Thankfully, at least I have goals.
Henry David Thoreau said, "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
Bo Bennett said, "The discipline you learn and character you build from setting and achieving a goal can be more valuable than the achievement of the goal itself."
So with a twist of irony, in my failure to achieve my goals I am actually accomplishing something. I am building character and learning discipline.
Only 3,624 steps left to go today ... piece of cake!
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