A Parent's Memories

I miss my parents. They have been gone for almost ten years now. And even though their last years were not their strongest, it was still nice to know that you had your mom and dad around.

I am envious of anyone who is my age and still has one, or both, of their parents around--especially their moms.  My mom and I weren't girlfriend-like close, but she was still my mom and I loved her very much.  I still hear her voice running through my head, especially when the lilacs are in bloom, or I'm making her pot roast, or I pass a rummage sale sign.


My dad and I were close too.  I still hear his voice in my brother's voices. He shared my interests in 4-H and horses, and I spent many a weekend walking with him through Schaeffer's woods and the local county park with the dog in tow. I taught him how to play the piano--so it's my fault that he always played Claire d'Lune over and over again. I'm guessing he already knew how to play and that was his way of spending some time with me.

I was watching a daughter talking to her mom the other day and it got me thinking: what would you ask your parents if you had the opportunity?  If you could go back in time and sit down with them, what would you spend your time talking about?

I would ask mine what the world was like when they were kids? What was their favorite subject in school? Who were their best friends? What was their favorite music? What were they afraid of? What made them happy? What do they remember about their parents or grandparents? As kids, what did they dream of doing when they got older? If they could go back and do it again, what would they change?

I would ask my mom all about plants and flowers and gardening and canning. It seemed to me that she always had a garden and was canning something or making jam.  In mid-July you could always find us walking along the borders of farm fields looking for black raspberries. I can remember walking with her through the woods and she would be pointing out and naming all the wildflowers and trees. Why didn't I listen more closely or ask more questions? By the time I was interested in any of those things it was already too late.

My dad was a great one for business advice.  If I could, I would ask my dad how he became successful, twice, in his careers. If I had a problem at work or was thinking about changing jobs I would always call my dad and talk things over.

My dad and I always had this father-daughter psychic phone line thing going on. I would be sitting at home and thinking about him and the phone would ring--it would be him. Or the same thing would happen to him.

My dad also served in WWII.  He never really talked about his time in the war. But if I had it to do over again, I would ask him details. What was it like serving in the Navy? What areas did he travel to? Was he scared? Did he understand what was going on at the time? Where was he when the war ended?

When I was remarried this last time I was fortunate enough to gain another set of parents. It felt really good to have a mom back in my life again. It was also a cruel twist of fate that I can no longer have a relationship with her. But, that, my friends, is another post.

Talk to your parents and your grandparents. Ask them all the questions I wish I could ask mine. If your mom is trying to teach you something she thinks you need to know, listen. My guess is she feels this unstoppable need to pass on her knowledge. And do one more favor for me--give them a kiss and a hug, from me.